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tsimfuckis is actually my hero, you know how he was born?

 

1. One theory on this beast's conception was that his parents had sex on top of a barrel of industrial toxic waste while smoking a cocktail of crystal meth, crack cocaine and fertilizer, and eating copious amounts of Nerf. This seems like the most unlikely theory since ingesting serious amounts of drugs during pregnancy still could not create an ugly little thing like that...unless it was the Nerf.

 

2. Another theory is that he it was created in a top secret nuclear research facility as a project designed to distract soldiers on the battlefield. The idea was to create such a ugly beast that the soldiers would stop fighting and just start laughing at its weird and strange face, but it has now escaped into the public domain. As we speak, a secret order of SWAT officers is being dispatched to kill the creature, but we just hope they don't start laughing at its blatant attempt at wiggerism.

 

3. A recently noted theory is that this new species was conceived by cross-breeding Big Bird and Elmo. The theory has great validity due to its Big Bird-like appearance and Elmo-like voice which can be explained by Darwin's Theory of Evolution. Indeed, a growing number of people believe that TsimFuckis is indeed the love child of Big Bird and Elmo from Sesame Street.

 

4. Alien from outer space? This seems like a likely theory but please take into account the fact he has the mental IQ of a carrot and I doubt anyone that smart would be able to develop/fly a ship capable of interstellar transport. (Unless of course it's parents shoved it into a rocket and blasted it off into space where it just managed to land on Earth instead of going directly into the sun.)

 

5. God less than three IRL Photoshop.

 

6. He was born as a normal child (Still mentally retarded though.) and got his face crushed inside a vice or got wedged in between G0D's fat parents. If it was the latter our hearts go out to him, not really, KILL IT WITH FIRE.

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