guys

[SneakySnake]

That sucks ass man. Get well soon.

[Metal]

Please post here each day.

 

What should I do if I get sick?

If you live in areas where people have been identified with 2009 H1N1 flu and become ill with influenza-like symptoms, including fever, body aches, runny or stuffy nose, sore throat, nausea, or vomiting or diarrhea, you should stay home and avoid contact with other people. CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine.) Stay away from others as much as possible to keep from making others sick.Staying at home means that you should not leave your home except to seek medical care. This means avoiding normal activities, including work, school, travel, shopping, social events, and public gatherings.

 

If you have severe illness or you are at high risk for flu complications, contact your health care provider or seek medical care. Your health care provider will determine whether flu testing or treatment is needed.

 

If you become ill and experience any of the following warning signs, seek emergency medical care.

 

Seems useful

Get better soon

[jazzy]

OK....Um do you have proof of the fact?

The swine flu is like the flu, you wont die.

You will only die if you already sick or ill when you get it.

 

So just get alot of rest, eat soup and get daily check up's

 

this is srs bsns!, just kidding swine flu is basically the same as normal flu.... most people that get it just die from dehydration so just drink alot of water and stay in bed until your fever breaks

 

It's like the regular flu. Drink a hell lot of water, relax, try to take the usual flu medication and stay away from other people.

 

crazy question, but did any of you happen to read http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=swine_flu that before posting?

[Metal]

I just deleted my mom's number from my cell phone. That's because she called me in a panic after seeing a special on CNN about swine flu asking me what she should do. How about getting a clue, mom? Idiot.

You're all idiots. If you've spent more than a few minutes worrying about swine flu, you are an idiot. That's because it only takes a few minutes to look up the symptoms, mortality rate, and treatment to realize that it's no different from the common flu (which kills way more people and by extension is way more awesome), and going back to whatever it is you were doing, which was probably turning off CNN and canceling your cable subscription. In fact, worrying at all makes you an idiot. Why worry? Cowards worry and there is a 100% overlap between people who worry and people who regularly make cowardly decisions. That's why natural disasters kick so much ass. You never really know when they're going to hit, so you might as well let go and stop being such a scared pussy all the time. You'll cross the bridge of death when you get to it. Time to start taking risks, asshole! Quit your job. Quit answering your boss' calls during your time off. Go do something with your life. Jesus

 

Which leads me to why swine flu is stupid. If I were to worry about anything—and I don't—swine flu would be pretty near the bottom of the list. Here's a list of things that are a higher priority of things to worry about

# Dying alone.

# Not getting recognized for your genius.

# Settling for a shitty job.

# Getting married.

 

Just to be clear, not getting married isn't a problem, getting married is. Most people, due to fears of dying alone, will marry some jackass because they think nothing better will come along. They're usually right. But even if you find someone who isn't a total cock, marrying them will ruin everything because marriage is a false institution, and a waste of time and money. Cancel that big wedding party and buy a house, dipshits! Nobody wants to go to wedding parties. Besides, big gatherings lend themselves to communicable diseases. Holy shit that was a sweet transition. For those of you still not convinced that swine flu is bullshit, here's a list of symptoms for swine flu versus the regular flu:

 

See no difference? That's because there is no difference. Quit closing schools down every time someone gets swine flu, morons!

 

The problem isn't swine flu, but people talking about it (this article withstanding, because I'm the exception to every rule, that rule withstanding). Remember SARS? More bullshit. Fewer than 800 people died from it world wide. Yet the news networks prattled on about it for months. Now the slow news cycle lends itself to talking about swine flu ad nauseum even though there's already a vaccine for it. Oh, didn't know there was a vaccine? Yeah there has been a vaccine for it in the works almost since the beginning, rendering this non-issue even more irrelevant.

 

I will never take the swine flu vaccine because I already have it; it's called my immune system, and it's badass. I have never gotten sick in my life. My immune system is so strong that I have to get AIDS just to be normal. Your best defense against getting swine flu is to be me. Your second best defense is to have me cough in your face.

 

In fact, I'm going to put my money where my mouth is:

 

Swine Flu Challenge:

 

I'm holding a contest because I want to get swine flu just to prove how stupid it is. If I get it (unlikely), I will document my recovery on Youtube for the entire duration. Expect a short video. Here's what I'm willing to do:

 

Contest Rules:

 

# One lucky person will get the opportunity to fly me out to where you live* for one night**, and you get to sneeze in my face.

# Winner must provide a proof of having swine flu (signed doctor blood test or something along those lines).

# Winner must not have any other bullshit diseases. I don't want your herpes, even though I can't get them.

 

* First class accomodations only.

** Winner must pay for at least one night of hotel accomodations (5 star or higher) unless you are a hot chick and want me to crash at your place. I will sleep in your bed and you will sleep on the couch. Winner must also agree to let me try on all their clothes and eat their food.

 

This contest is real. Email me if you have swine flu and are willing to fly me out to sneeze in my face. Don't email me unless you're serious and unless you have the money to fly me out first class. I'm totally serious about getting swine flu, but I have other shit to do too, so your window of opportunity is limited. You must fly me out between September 7, 2009 and September 21, 2009 because I'll be on book tour before then. If you miss your window of opportunity, too bad. Plan better next time and don't get sick unless I hold a contest. Make it happen.

Ok?....support him plz

[Dracula]

[IntenseFajita]

Dude that sucks. My school has only had one report of swine flu, and my dad is stressing me to wash my hands and dont touch my eyes and stuff. Where have you been if i might ask?

[Metal]

 

your nice

[Kennith]

your nice

 

I can say a few inconsiderate things as well, coming from drac, that is nice. He's lucky he didn't take it further.

[Toxin]

Wow Dracula, just wow.

[Dracula]

I can say a few inconsiderate things as well, coming from drac, that is nice. He's lucky he didn't take it further.

 

10-1 were right. And if we are we both get +5 Internets.