Oh lawd

[Ms. Blargh]

So im coming to SG for advice. lol that should show you how far i've fallen. XD

 

So me and my fiance of 5 years are breaking up, taking a break, what ever you want to call it.

 

It's mutual, it's painful, it's confusing.

 

Anyways we want to reevaluate ourselves and our feelings later down the road (lets say a year from now)

 

In the meantime we want to stay friends. Is this a good idea? And whats the best way to go about maintaining our friendship without being so emotionally dependent on each other and without causing weakness in our resolve to wait until we are both better people?

 

We will probably be dating other people and I just want to know the least painful way to stay friends and not burn any bridges.

 

Confused?

[Drox]

Well Ive been friends with some of my ex's, and it can be rough early on to be friends. But after time has passed and you two can talk to each other without thinking about it too much, then it becomes better. I would probably suggest keeping distance in the beginning then as time goes on get to re-know each other better as friends. But thats just my personal experiance, you may have to figure it out in your own way.

 

/dr phil mode off

[Epic Bread Man]

Give Him some, and He may like it and realize he should keep you.

[Ms. Blargh]

Give Him some, and He may like it and realize he should keep you.

lol been there done that.

[TheVirus]

I broke up with my fiance, then-girlfriend of 3 years, for 6 months. I was fairly miserable but my friends helped me out. It happened in college, before Easter, and lasted until about my birthday. I stayed up in college for summer school while she was at home.

 

We really didn't remain friends, I called her on her birthday, and hardly talked. I was too miserable/depressed to date other people and we eventually got back together. I don't remember much, I have a habit of completely blocking out all bad memories.

 

Just don't do anything you would regret and don't do anything you wouldn't want him doing. If it's about getting married then hold it off. If he just wants some strange then slap him upside the face.

 

I wish you the best of luck and keep an upbeat attitude. I hate to say it, but it'll be rough.

[Epic Bread Man]

lol been there done that.

 

Fucking WIN! Ms Blargh! haha glad you saw the funny side! lol I was waiting for some hardcore damage from other member's for writing that, haha!

[Gumpy]

If you want to be friends, then don't see him for like a month. Slowly ease your way back into his life.

[Bubbles]

get another dude

 

he'll come running back =]

[Ms. Blargh]

get another dude

 

he'll come running back =]

LOL im not trying to get him back. Im not ready for that yet.

[Kennith]

So im coming to SG for advice. lol that should show you how far i've fallen. XD

 

So me and my fiance of 5 years are breaking up, taking a break, what ever you want to call it.

 

It's mutual, it's painful, it's confusing.

 

Anyways we want to reevaluate ourselves and our feelings later down the road (lets say a year from now)

 

In the meantime we want to stay friends. Is this a good idea? And whats the best way to go about maintaining our friendship without being so emotionally dependent on each other and without causing weakness in our resolve to wait until we are both better people?

 

We will probably be dating other people and I just want to know the least painful way to stay friends and not burn any bridges.

 

Confused?

I'm no couple counselor, but.

Do not use breaks as the first solution to the problem. If you both have sat down and talked about ALL of your problems with each other and it still has not worked out then I'd suggest taking a break, or even better, see a couple counselor. Sometimes when people are so close to each other, they tend to change who they are to make up for the differences in each other to get a happy and healthy relationship, but in actuality the couple have to respect each other's flaws and imperfections. Dating, and just casual dating other people, will get you to get back in touch with how you were as an individual. Or simply just not talking to each other, or talking and not spending quality time will work, too. Make sure this agreement IS MUTUAL, and not because one or the other brought it up. I'm just throwing a bunch of things out there cause I don't really know whats the cause of this break in the first place. If you two were in a major issue, then even if you take a break, those issues will still not be resolved and can only be resolved by talks.

 

Relationships will not exist without trust and confidence in one's insecurities. You should not maintain contact with each other and trust that he'll still love you as much as he did when you both decided on this break and for yourself to have the confidence that you are worth loving. This has to be known that it is JUST a break and not a break UP. Sometimes taking a break can either mean the relationship is reaching towards the end, but occasionally it means a new page. It ultimately depends on the couple.

 

Aside from all that

The least painful way to deal with it is to talk once in a while, on phone, and not mention anything about the dating or what went on.