Jokes

[Italian Jew]

Honestly that was fucking horrendous and not even remotely funny.

 

In Russia, it would've been funny.

[Empire Strikes Black]

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap". The second one says, "No soap, radio!"

[Harbor]

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap". The second one says, "No soap, radio!"

 

whats with everyone being named steve being retarded, on these fourms?

[Chaoz`]

I don't quite understand steve's joke??

 

anyway, my jokes:

 

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was

really pissed.

 

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the

driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

 

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke

up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box

gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

 

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought

the box back in the house.

 

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

 

Bob has been missing since Friday.

 

 

------------------------

 

 

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

 

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

 

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

[Captain Sparrow]

A joke....

 

Miley cyrus is not a slut.

[Dirty Sanchez]

so a guy walks into a bar in Haiti,

and it collapses.

[Chobber]

There were two guys taking a shower. They were playing with eachother and kissing. Then sombody knocked on the door so one of the guys was like im going to answer the door so dont finish without me right. So he went to go answer the door when he came their was cum all over the walls curtains, everywhere. The guy says to him i told you not to finish without me.

 

The other guy says i didn't ..... I just farted!

[Chaoz`]

hahaha lol that was dirty

[Zaraki]

Frank, an explorer, interested in the old indian cultures walks in the forests, searching and exploring.

He walks trough the woods until he see's an indian, holding a spear.

The indian walks to him and says in bad english "Death or Hankey Pankey!"

Frank has a wife, 2 children and a parrot, so he says "Spare my life, i'll do the hankey pankey..."

So he get's taken by the whole indian tribe in the butt.

 

Frank continues his way with painfull steps...

 

Still recovering, he see's another indian, holding a machete and he says "Death or Hankey Pankey!"

Frank still has the same wife, 2 children and a parrot, so he says "It will be something different, it HAS to be...".

 

But he was too optimistic and get's taken by the indian tribe in his butt...

 

Crying while walking in pain, he strumbles trough the woods until he see's another indian, walking slowly to him and saying "Death or Hankey Pankey!"

 

Frank is in a lot of pain and says in despair, crying and thinking about his family: "K, you guys win, i choose death!"

 

 

The indian awnsers "OK! but first Hankey Pankey"

[Metal]

a man and a young boy were walking through a forest on a very dark night

 

the little boy says to the man "mister I'm really scared being out here"

 

the man replied "You're scared? I'm the one who has to walk out here alone!"

 

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