lols

[Chaos]

LOL bro, i dont know what made me laugh harder,

 

-Your post

-Your Sig

-Your avatar

 

LOL

 

this. exactly.

[ColdWar]

barber that story was fucking hilarious! ive got one.

 

so a few months ago, my friends boss gets a call at work from her 20 yr old son who is mentally retarded. "mom i captured a gnome." "thats great honey but im at work." "mom, come home, ive captured a gnome!" so she hangs up and he calls back a few minutes later saying the same thing. she hangs up again and after he calls a 3rd time, she decides to go home and check on him just to make sure. when she gets home, the front door is wide open. she walks in and the house is a mess. tables and chairs tipped over, and theres a cell phone not belonging to her son thats on the living room floor. she gets a little worried and starts frantically searching for her son, and she finally finds him in her bedroom. "mom, the gnome is in the closet." she moves the nightstand that is blocking the closet door and opens it to find a midget inside! it turns out this guy was a U.S census worker going door to door to get people to fill out the census! im not sure what made the young man feel like he needed to capture this guy hahaha.

[Moop the communist]

barber that story was fucking hilarious! ive got one.

 

so a few months ago, my friends boss gets a call at work from her 20 yr old son who is mentally retarded. "mom i captured a gnome." "thats great honey but im at work." "mom, come home, ive captured a gnome!" so she hangs up and he calls back a few minutes later saying the same thing. she hangs up again and after he calls a 3rd time, she decides to go home and check on him just to make sure. when she gets home, the front door is wide open. she walks in and the house is a mess. tables and chairs tipped over, and theres a cell phone not belonging to her son thats on the living room floor. she gets a little worried and starts frantically searching for her son, and she finally finds him in her bedroom. "mom, the gnome is in the closet." she moves the nightstand that is blocking the closet door and opens it to find a midget inside! it turns out this guy was a U.S census worker going door to door to get people to fill out the census! im not sure what made the young man feel like he needed to capture this guy hahaha.

 

LOL!!!! really not the ending I expected lol

[Adam]

I worked in technical support at Silicon Graphics about a year ago, and I was part of the group that was first in line to handle problem calls. Oh, joy. Being only eighteen at the time, my experience in the field of technical support was somewhat limited, but I could still handle my own.

 

Now, as you may or may not know, SGI sells top of the line computers used in many different industries. On average, they're about three times as expensive as personal PCs and are meant to be used by professionals in the industries they're used in.

 

Anyway, the following call came in:

 

Customer: "I just received an Onyx yesterday, and I tried to set it up today and it doesn't work."

Tech Support: "It just doesn't boot up?"

Customer: "It doesn't even turn on. I see nothing on the screen, and the fan doesn't even turn on in the back of the system."

Tech Support: "Is the monitor functioning? Is there a little green light in the lower right corner of the monitor?"

Customer: "Yes, there is."

Tech Support: "Ok, is the computer plugged in?"

Customer: (irritated) "Look, I think I know how to set up a system. I'm a college graduate, you know."

Tech Support: "Ok, let me finish typing up this report, and I'll send it off. You will get a reply within one business day."

Customer: (exasperated) "Thank you. Geez, I mean I paid a huge amount of money for this computer. The least you people can do it make sure it works before sending it to me!"

Customer: "I mean, to add to the poor quality control, you even sent me one extra power cord."

Tech Support: "One extra cord?"

Customer: "Yes, it looks just the one I used to plug in the monitor and computer, but that's all you sent to me. I have no use for this other one."

 

At this point, I thought I should inquire a little more...but use a bit of tact to do so.

 

Tech Support: "Sir, can you double check the serial number on the back of your computer?"

Customer: "On the back of the computer?"

Tech Support: "Yes, sir."

Customer: (sigh) "All right, all right, hold on..."

I heard a few muffled grunts as he crawled over his desk to see the back of the computer. He repeated the serial number from the sticker. I didn't bother to verify it.

 

Tech Support: "Thank you, sir. Oh, by the way, can you check to see if the computer is plugged in?"

Dead silence. I could just picture the man's face when he realized that the computer was never plugged in in the first place and that the "extra" power cord he was holding in his hand was for the computer. I didn't wait for a response from him. I thanked him for calling, hung up, and closed the case.

[Adam]

Another one:

 

A little boy who lived down the road once told me why his parents had adopted him and his sister. "Daddy's sperm kept falling on Mommy's lap," he explained. He also described, if I understood him correctly, how his mother's nipples turned inside out when he slapped them in the bathtub.

[PowStriker]

barber that story was fucking hilarious! ive got one.

 

so a few months ago, my friends boss gets a call at work from her 20 yr old son who is mentally retarded. "mom i captured a gnome." "thats great honey but im at work." "mom, come home, ive captured a gnome!" so she hangs up and he calls back a few minutes later saying the same thing. she hangs up again and after he calls a 3rd time, she decides to go home and check on him just to make sure. when she gets home, the front door is wide open. she walks in and the house is a mess. tables and chairs tipped over, and theres a cell phone not belonging to her son thats on the living room floor. she gets a little worried and starts frantically searching for her son, and she finally finds him in her bedroom. "mom, the gnome is in the closet." she moves the nightstand that is blocking the closet door and opens it to find a midget inside! it turns out this guy was a U.S census worker going door to door to get people to fill out the census! im not sure what made the young man feel like he needed to capture this guy hahaha.

 

ROFL!!! I wonder if the family got sued or something for kidnapping a midget xD

[Bubbles]

I used to be nice

[psycore]

So like yesterday I was bum fucking this guy, it was going good and all. Than all of a sudden he turns around and grabs my balls, than I'm just left standing there thinking "Wow this guy is a real faggot".

 

u made my day:biggrin:

[Kratos]

lol what adam those are intresting to say the least

[Neji]

My friend fell off the stage infront of 3000 people.