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Game consoles contain hazardous chemicals

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WARNING: READING THE FOLLOWING QUOTE(s) WILL LOWER YOUR IQ. And then I quote some of the most retarded stuff you will ever see in an actual article and get mad at black text on my computer screen and share it with a bunch of people I don't know, because I'm that cool.


"Don't eat your Xbox, says Greenpeace"


Damn... I was getting pretty hungry, and looking at buying a 360 for my next meal. But now that I know that certain chemicals (not to mention plastic and metal) are bad for me, I guess I won't be chowing down on a 360 any time soon. Maybe a Wii though, it sounded like those only contained plastic and metal; safe for eating!


"The next casualty in the console war might be you."


What shit is this? Really? A 360 is going to kill me just by proximity? How retarded are these people? I suppose my computer might not be safe to eat either. What's this? Don't eat snake poison? But I thought that so long as it's natural, it's safe. What? I can't eat computer components either? If I can't eat natural food, or synthetic food, what can I eat, Greentards?


"Hold on -- you don't need to start wearing a cup made of reinforced steel every time you play Halo 3 just yet."


Aww man, you mean to say that I already wasted my money on this cup made of reinforced steel in order to safely play video games - something you sit on a couch or chair and get fat doing because it involves no physical activity - and now I don't need it? But what you say insinuates that I might need it in the future when playing video games. When exactly will this be?


"The group has further identified game consoles as key contributors towards a growing waste product called "ewaste.""


What the hell is ewaste? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-waste Apparently, electronics, consisting of metal, and plastic are... NOT BIODEGRADABLE?! THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP, GREENPEACE!


"And whatever you do, don't dump your broken 360 in the trash."


Oh, really? The first thing that popped into my mind once my $400 game console stopped working was to just throw it into the trash, because it's not it is possible to get those things fixed, or sell them.




Greenpeace, you are retarded. Do you even know HOW computers work? They run on deadly toxins! Yes, every computer is fueled by nuclear waste and a various combination of deadly chemicals such as cyanide. In fact, every computer component is dipped in a special coat of cyanide that is guaranteed to last at least 150 years and kill anyone who comes in contact with it. That is why people with jobs like computer technicians get payed so much! It's a deadly and risky job! Millions of computer technicians die every year from trying to eat computer components! The world wasn't aware of the risks involved, and how all those technicians died was an unsolved mystery until you stepped in, Greenpeace!


Why the hell must everyone find a stance to take in order to attack video games? What the hell is so wrong and bad about them? Guess we should actually be out living our lives, killing real people rather than pretending to do it.


*To be fair, the editor, Ben Silverman, might have had a hand in making this article look extra stupid.



Edited by Lemmings19
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