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*puts on wizard robe and hat*

 

I fucking love how much of an asshole he is.

 

"You look like the farm fresh guy"

"You look like you ate the farm fresh guy"

 

Best Text ever typed on the internet.

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Posting things off of bash

 

Hey Mike

what?

Pussy.

er?

Pussy.

and?

Pussy.

...

Pussy.

i dont get it

AND YOU NEVER WILL.

bastard

 

*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'

* Anubis has joined #doghouse

what fraud?

You haven't heard about it?

no?

You can read the full story at tubgirl link

omg wtf!

*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'

 

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!

glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!

Who me?!

Yes you!

Couldn't be!

Then WHO?!!

Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!

*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)

 

so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar

well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke

so i helped him walk to the toilet

all the stalls were occupied

lol

bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy

so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open

and there's this guy in there taking a shit

hahahahahaha

and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM

then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'

so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face

and runs away

imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

 

I should bomb something

...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats

Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me

I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.

*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe

We saw it anyway.

*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )

 

I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.

It said my password wasn't long enough. :(

 

ITS RAVEN

Edited by Paladin
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you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots

I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT

the Trix rabbit, for example

I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids

I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.

fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit

"silly rabbit Trix are for kids"

Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.

FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me

I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches

and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.

and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?

I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think

"Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"

NO.

I'd be thinking

"that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?"

another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"

last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast

they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big

not me

I don't even EAT breakfast nomore

I mean, I eat when I get up

but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"

bitch, you make my fucking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the fucking money

don't give me that shit.

Back to stupid cereal mascots...

Lucky Charms.

FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS

Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?

C'mon now, Lucky.

I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE

or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.

"They're after me Lucky Charms!"

....

KILL THEM, BITCH!

I dunno why I went off on this rant here

it's just always bothered me.

 

------------------------------------

 

: Best suicide plan ever

: what is it?

: you go up to the top of a roof

: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level

: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched

: then you put super glue on your hands

: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head

: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows

: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.

: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.

: i dont think i can be your friend anymor

 

----------------------------------------

 

there was this one time I was wanking to porn...

... I kept a javascript tutorial open in another window so my parents didn't start wondering why I was always on the desktop with no windows showing

so I'm just about to splurge when I suddenly hear my dad coming up the stairs

alt-tabbed to the other window and tried to pull my boxers up... computer stalled JUST THEN as my dad was opening the door

I just stood up and was like "fuck... dad this honestly isn't what it looks like"

and he glanced at the screen and said "I sure hope so because it looks like you're masturbating to a fucking javascript tutorial"

Edited by Hazardous
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------------------------------------

 

: Best suicide plan ever

: what is it?

: you go up to the top of a roof

: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level

: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched

: then you put super glue on your hands

: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head

: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows

: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.

: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.

: i dont think i can be your friend anymor

 

 

lol reminds me of this

 

AwesomeIllustrated.jpg

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