Sexy Fish Posted January 9, 2010 Content Count: 445 Joined: 09/14/09 Status: Offline Share Posted January 9, 2010 A man walks into a bar, OUCH! 1 Link to comment
bethy Posted January 9, 2010 Content Count: 6213 Joined: 09/20/08 Status: Offline Share Posted January 9, 2010 A man walks into a bar, OUCH! LOL. I used to tell that one as a kid. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogy in it. Link to comment
Tyler Posted January 9, 2010 Content Count: 1590 Joined: 06/06/09 Status: Offline Share Posted January 9, 2010 whats green & sings? Elvis Parsley hahahah jk. Link to comment
Bald Posted January 9, 2010 Content Count: 649 Joined: 09/29/08 Status: Offline Share Posted January 9, 2010 Pudding. HAHA GET IT? "PUD - DING?" HAHAHAH. Wow, I feel so fucking dirty for saying that. Link to comment
Prez Posted January 9, 2010 Content Count: 8756 Joined: 07/27/09 Status: Offline Share Posted January 9, 2010 A guy walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?" The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears." Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy." 2nd guy walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?" The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears." Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy." This guy on the way out says to the 3rd guy "What ever you do, don't say anything about his not having any ears - He'll kick you right out." 3rd guy walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?" The guy looks at the interviewer intently for a few seconds and responds, "Why, you wear contact lenses don't you." The interviewer says, "That's impressive that you're so observant. How could you tell I wear contact lenses?" 3rd guy "Because you don't have any damn ears to hang glasses on." Link to comment
Lefty Posted January 9, 2010 Content Count: 856 Joined: 03/08/09 Status: Offline Share Posted January 9, 2010 three gay guys walk in a bar, there name is do re mi Link to comment
Kuro Posted January 9, 2010 Content Count: 1845 Joined: 11/13/09 Status: Offline Share Posted January 9, 2010 A man walks into a bar, OUCH! i said the same joke and got nothing yet u post it and get praise... go figure Link to comment
Sexy Fish Posted January 9, 2010 Content Count: 445 Joined: 09/14/09 Status: Offline Share Posted January 9, 2010 i said the same joke and got nothing yet u post it and get praise... go figure Hmm...go figure indeed. Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!" "Woah, what the hell happened to him?" "Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window." "What a horrible way to die!" "No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones." "What a way to go, that's terrible!" "No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him." "Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!" "No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him." "Man, what a way to go!" "No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him." "Now that is one awful way to go!" "No no, he survived that..." "Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?" "I shot him!" "You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?" "He was wrecking my house." Link to comment
trakaill Posted January 9, 2010 Content Count: 3736 Joined: 11/30/07 Status: Offline Share Posted January 9, 2010 (edited) ^ lame and fucked up This one of my fav! How do you put a elephant in a refrigerator? You open the door and put him in! How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You take the elephant out and put him in! The king of the jungle had a meeting and all the animals were there EXCEPT... ..the giraffe because he was in the refrigerator! If you had to cross 30-feet in crocodile infested waters, how would you do that? You just swim across because all the animals where at the meeting!!! And I liked Beth's first one Edited January 9, 2010 by trakaill Link to comment
Ketch Posted January 10, 2010 Content Count: 1405 Joined: 08/07/09 Status: Offline Share Posted January 10, 2010 I read that the PGA are now investigating Tiger for having too many "woodies" in his bag! Link to comment
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