Your favourite internet hoaxes.

[Neji]

Here are some of my favourites.

 

 

 

The attack of Buttspider

 

FW: Warning! Spider in the toilet!

Importance: High

 

I'm told this isn't a joke. Take it or leave it!: Please pass this on to everyone on your email list:

 

According to an article by Dr. Beverly Clark, in the Journal of the United Medical Association (JUMA), the mystery behind a recent spate of deaths has been solved.

 

If you haven't already heard about it in the news, here is what happened. 3 women in Chicago, turned up at hospitals over a 5 day period, all with the same symptoms. Fever, chills, and vomiting, followed by muscular collapse, paralysis, and finally, death. There were no outward signs of trauma. Autopsy results showed toxicity in the blood.

 

These women did not know each other, and seemed to have nothing in common. It was discovered, however, that they had all visited the same restaurant (Big Chappies, at Blare Airport), within days of their deaths.

 

The health department descended on the restaurant, shutting it down. The food, water, and air conditioning were all inspected and tested, to no avail.

 

The big break came when a waitress at the restaurant was rushed to the hospital with similar symptoms. She told doctors that she had been on vacation, and had only went to the restaurant to pick up her check. She did not eat or drink while she was there, but had used the restroom.

 

That is when one toxicologist, remembering an article he had read, drove out to the restaurant, went into the restroom, and lifted the toilet seat. Under the seat, out of normal view, was small spider.

 

The spider was captured and brought back to the lab, where it was determined to be the South American Blush Spider (arachnius gluteus), so named because of its reddened flesh color. This spider's venom is extremely toxic, but can take several days to take effect. They live in cold, dark, damp, climates, and toilet rims provide just the right atmosphere.

 

Several days later a lawyer from Los Angeles showed up at a hospital emergency room. Before his death, he told the doctor, that he had been away on business, had taken a flight from New York, changing planes in Chicago, before returning home. He did not visit Big Chappies while there. He did, as did all of the other victims, have what was determined to be a puncture wound, on his right buttock.

 

Investigators discovered that the flight he was on had originated in South America. The Civilian Aeronautics Board (CAB) ordered an immediate inspection of the toilets of all flights from South America, and discovered the Blush spider's nests on 4 different planes!

 

It is now beleived that these spiders can be anywhere in the country. So please, before you use a public toilet, lift the seat to check for spiders. It can save your life!

 

And please pass this on to everyone you care about.

 

 

 

The Olympic Torch virus

 

 

Virus Warning Please Read !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Subject: ****** VIRUS WARNING *****

 

Please read the attached warning issued today.

PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS:

 

You should be alert during the next days:

 

Do not open any message with an attached filed called "Invitation" regardless of who sent it.

 

It is a virus that opens an Olympic Torch which "burns" the whole hard disc C of your computer. This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list, that is why you should send this e-mail to all your contacts. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it.

 

If you receive a mail called "invitation", though sent by a friend, do not open it and shut down your computer immediately.

 

This is the worst virus announced by CNN, it has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever.

 

This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus.

 

This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept.

 

SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW, COPY THIS E-MAIL AND SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS AND REMEMBER: IF YOU SEND IT TO THEM, YOU WILL BENEFIT ALL OF US.

 

 

 

And obviously the 9/11 tourist

 

Fw: Different Perspective on the New York Tragedy

 

Attached is a picture that was taken of a tourist atop the World Trade Center Tower, the first to be struck by a terrorist attack. This camera was found but the subject in the picture had not yet been located.

 

Makes you see things from a very different position. Please share this and find any way you can to help Americans not to be victims in the future of such cowardly attacks.

 

[Bad Dog]

Girls on the internet. Im on to you Blargh......

[8=D]

You forgot the mutiple upon multiple porn viruses out there that send you emails saying you want to go fawking, but when you click on it your sys 32 file skull fucks itself.

[Neji]

You forgot the mutiple upon multiple porn viruses out there that send you emails saying you want to go fawking, but when you click on it your sys 32 file skull fucks itself.

 

Never heard of it lol. My friend got this e-mail called "I hate you"

 

It went something like this

 

 

"If you don't send this messagel to your girlfirend/boyfriend or somebody that you like, your mom will die of cancer soon." So he messaged the "Hate letter" which went like

 

 

"I hate you. Your breath is the worst thing in the world. I don't even like you anymore. Fuck you, you were useless piece of shit"

 

His girlfriend got PISSED at him. Funny shit.

[Spiritwind]

I've heard of the spiders, there was a problem somewhere with them 3 or 4 years ago.

I've never heard of the burning torch virus.

The 911 photo is obviously edited. It must be a pretty nice camera *Besides being able to tell its edited from the start*, to not have motion blur on a plane that close coming at high speeds...

[Harbor]

the "RIP Kanye west" thing, i participated in that, so fucking funny! even got a reactino from kanye!

[iNorris]

The Hustler ad virus...I was scarred...

[Ms. Blargh]

Girls on the internet. Im on to you Blargh......

:] Im female I swear, just ask Virde.

[Empire Strikes Black]

holy cow, its been forever since i saw that 9/11 tourist photo

[trakaill]

:] Im female I swear, just ask Virde.

 

Just cause he put his penis in a hole dont mean you are a female...