looking for some real advice.

[CollieFlower]

before i get started, please dont flame this. i am being serious about this.

 

i have a problem. my husband is a severe alcoholic. issue is, i too, am an alcoholic. how ever, i just get drunk, silly, and passout. my husband however, gets super serious and wont passout no matter how much he drinks. i want to say something about his excessive drinking, but how am i to comment on something that i also do? how do i say "stop drinking" as i crack open a beer? i dont want to quit drinking, as it doesn't affect my life or the people around me, but if necessary i will. I've been with him for 8 years, and it would kill me to get a divorce at this point. i got woken up at 130am, 3 hours before my alarm goes off, by him falling into bed, and 5 mins later puking all over said bed. maybe its because im antisocial and shy, but im at a loss on what to do. i dont know why im asking you guys, but i have nowhere else to turn.

[Nano]

Honestly you should go to some kind of counseling, for family or for addictions. But anyways good luck and hopefully you can stay with him happily.

[Minus]

Sounds like a conversation you need to have if you're this concerned. Honestly, I see it best turning out if you both to commit to quitting, since it'll be a strain for him to drink less or stop if you are still drinking but that's still something you two can work together on. Hardest part is starting the conversation, but once you do I'm sure you'll get there. Hope it all works out.

[Suri]

Since both of you are in the "same ish" situation, maybe mention it in a me- perspective. Mention how you are having some issues with drinking yourself and want to lessen or stop even. By talking about it in a me-perspective it is less aggressive but someway he "should" realize or recognize that he is having similar issues. Or that he is somewhat influencing your behavior as well.

If he doesn't recognize it maybe steer it in the direction of "it would help me a lot if you joined me...". You cant really help someone with an addiction if he/she doesn't recognize it. Once he does recognize it and wants to change he will, especially with you being there in the same boat. If you play it right you both can motivate each other.

 

If you need more help let me know. Goodluck Collie!

[CollieFlower]

thanks guys! it would be best for my own health anyways. ill work on a way to bring it up over the next few hours of work.