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TCP's Story: A biography

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Hey there kids! Today, we'll be learning about a 16-year old boy, named Tcp. He has a real problem, and it needs fixing!


TCP was born on October 31, 1993. He weighed an astounding 18 pounds! Here's him at 2 months, giving us the peace sign, commonly used in Britain.





He was neglected a lot, actually almost getting killed by a train, when his mother was talking to a black-market trader, trying to get him to buy big-ol' TCP.




They call him "miracle boy" because his fat stopped the train in its' tracks, and the fat actually provided a cushion, thus saving him from any harm (sadly).


When he turned 2, he said his first words:




In kindergarden, TCP had quite the attitude, and thought it was funny. He showed this by wearing this shirt on the first day of school:




In his blue lunch-box, he had 17 Big Macs, 2 bags of chicken fingers, and 3 chocolate bars, coated with sugar. This is due to the fact that he's on an extreme diet, as put on by his parents.


In grade 2, he started dating. His first girlfriend was famous everywhere! Here's she is, on their very first date!!!



Things got rough, and she broke up with him. She did this because she could put her arms around him and actually hug him.


In grade 4, at age 9, Tcp was constantly bullied. At one point, his teacher assisted the rest of the class in taping him on the wall:




Then, the bubble burst. On a doctor's appointment, when Tcp was 13, he was getting measured by the doctor:




Tcp farted, and the doctor had a heart attack and died. Tcp was then accused of murder by flatulence, and he was sentenced to 1 month without eating any McDonalds.


Tcp was put under constant suicide watch, and the police regularly did stake-outs at their house, if any hostility arose. The SWAT team was on hold, if anything were to happen.


After the month, Tcp pledged to lose some weight, and his fellow friends at SG created the "TCP weight loss moral support group". It is aimed at helping him deal with his problem, and solve it.


Today, Tcp plays 13 hours a day on Counter Strike, or any other games. He is currently on the waiting list of "The Biggest Loser", but they are considering holding a spin-off series called "The Biggest Loser: Tcp", because his weight is as much as all of the people combined on the previous season. We continue to help Tcp address his problem, and help him lose weight.



But he doesn't listen, because his ears are full of bacon fat and grease.



So remember kids:




Tune in next time for FAT PEOPLE WHO NEED HELP, and vegetables.


PS Zero001 was the doctor.

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Edited by Prez
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