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Today was a sad day....

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Today I felt and feel like shit. 

My English teacher had us go outside, to see, feel, and write about our surroundings. But I leaned on a pole and looked up at the rain and said, "Fuck.. why am I so lonely?" 

I was feeling like this cause I'm reading, Words on Bathroom Walls; and the main character gets a girlfriend, and they seem compatible. A healthy relationship for two teenagers but- then I was like, why can't that be me? Or, why can't I have more friends. I just wanted to break down but- haha can't be an emotion shit in school...

The pitter patter of the rain hitting the grass and concrete side walk.. The sound of a beefy engine in a car rumbles in the distance whilst hearing air exit outside of the nearby ventilation shaft. The feeling of cool rain hitting your hands and the sudden shoulder tap from a stray pellet of rain is a mesmerizing feeling.. But still very.. very lonely. I felt as if the rain was my comfort zone and no one around me was actually there. I looked down at my mud-covered shoes, and it hadn't bothered me that they were dirty. I never get annoyed at dirty shoes; its bound to get dirty, so why get pissy when they are a bit brown?  I noticed the dying leaves on the nearby bushes and the yellow color of the leaves on this skinny tree made me feel something about life. "What could you get out of that other than that it's a dying tree?" Us people are like trees. We live to grow, and when it's time: We start dying.. Until there is nothing left. But think about this, after some time, the leaves come back. So why don't we? What makes me, you, your dog different than a tree? We all live the same purpose, and die one way. 

But then I thought something else. What if the tree losing it's leaves is just the lowest point of its life, before it starts to come back. So is that what happens with us? When we lose our, "leaves" is that our lowest point before coming back to reality? Sorry, I'm weird haha. 

Have a better day folks?

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  • Content Count:  178
  • Joined:  01/31/19
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One of the greatest things about Steam Gamers is that it can serve as an escape from real life to people at certain times, but you definitely should spend some time out there and find some true friends and maybe even a girlfriend :pepehands:. I'm sure that there are people with similar interests and hobbies as you that live in your area.  I've been in the same boat as you plenty of times in my life, but it gets better. You always have some people here in this community to chill with and have fun. Remember man, you only live once, so go do whatever you want to do, but stay out of trouble :).


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