Some Stuff

[Atrix]

Just some different things I need to talk about. I've taken about a 2 week break from the servers. I needed the break from here for a few reasons.

 

Without too much detail I lost my grandfather and grandmother in the same day. They raised me from 3-12 and were the greatest things to me. At 12 I moved back with my mother, she didn't have custody because of bad choices earlier in her life. Point is I've been so fucking broken the past week. This past week of my life has been hell. I just don't get why life works this way, amazing people die while garbage people roam the earth. I was back to getting my faith again and was going to church, and then things like this happen that make me question if life is worth the work we put in. I'm still broken, I know things will get better but it just hurts so much.

 

Now this is been going on for a bit longer but its about how the Ranks and Promotions effected me and a few other people. Getting CA/HigherUp was always a goal of mine and still is. The mindset I had from not getting the rank or people I felt should have got it instead was terrible. I felt so petty and jealous for seeing my friends and people I respected getting promotions over me. I was growing hatred and jealousy for people I called friends and it genuinely was eating at me. I finally realized how much of a complete asshole I was being. I still respected everyone when talking, but in my mind I was full of hate towards my fellow friends. One person finally knocked me off my high horse and said the honest truth. It hurt to hear it but it was absolutely what I needed. At that time is when I decided on the name change. It was just a way to tell myself that I'm changing how I think on here, call it cringy or not. I'm back now and my perspective has been totally shifted. At the end of the day I'm proud of what I've done here and will continue to do. These few break I've taken finally made me realize how much I've been given from this community, and I'm not taking those things for granted anymore. I realize by letting you guys know this might make me look bad, but I know I'm not the only one here with this type of mindset and I think they need to hear this to. It just didn't feel right to not share how I felt about it. Long story short I'm back and happy. Thanks.

[Bondairy]

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother and grandfather, losing people isn't easy and if you need someone to talk to just steam message me! Sorry for making fun of your name as well I didn't know it had that much significance I just thought of it as something silly. Anyways, I hope life gets better and hope you are back for good!

[Error.]

So sorry to hear about your grandparents. I’ve experienced death from close people in my life. Its absolutely soul crushing when it happens. If you need someone just to talk to, hmu when I’m on TeamSpeak

[Dom]

i’m sorry to hear about your grandparents, its hard losing people that close to you. You know you always have me and the other guys to talk to whenever you need. I hope youre doing a lot better and things only go up from here. Glad to have you back my friend

[Dominic]

Very sorry to hear about your grandparents. I truly hope you feel better soon. It's generic, but I know how much small comments like that can mean in times like those, even from a stranger on the internet. Jealousy is a normal thing and I think a lot of us have felt jealous when we didn't get promotions. I actually planned on stepping down at one point because I had sat at CA for so long. The same thing happened when I was trying to get admin, but now I'm grateful that I got it when I did, because I probably wouldn't fucked up and embarrassed myself if I got it any sooner. No one will ever be able to stress enough how important it is to reach out to people for advice on how to get where you want to be here. It's easy, and it works.

 

Take as much time as you need, I hope things start looking up.

[Bright]

Sorry to hear about that, I've lost family members that were dear to me as well and I understand how you feel. If anything the crew is always here for you to talk to. It's good to have you back man.

[destroylonelyfan2011]

I’m terribly sorry to hear about your grandparents. Loss of a family member is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I would also like to deeply apologize for any dumb comments/jokes that I made about your name change. Everyone deserves a fresh start every once in a while. Hopefully our paths will cross on the servers once again sometime soon.

[Arctic]

I’m truly sorry to hear about your grandparents.. I have had tough times in life that completely destroyed me for so long, without going into context on that we’re so glad to have you back man. Hope you’re doing alright and always remember that we are here for you at tough times like this, life will never be fair and go the way you want it to at times, stay cool, welcome back chief.

[20 scrolls]

Sorry to hear that your grandparents passed, I myself have lost some members and its crushing when you find out. I hope you are soing well now and know that im always here, you will one day make it to the top so keep reaching.

Welcome back