Lenny-Grant’s Odyssey
Lenny-Grant was a young buck in his twenties. A fresh, reformed man of culture who appreciated good art and pussy. He happened to live in Madagascar, in a not-so Christian part of the land.
Lenny-Grant had an older brother, Harry-Grant. Harry-Grant was a conformist, popular, and vile man. He hated Christmas and everything it stood for. He disliked his younger brother very much. One day, Harry-Grant ran for office as “Big Chief” of Madagascar, and won. Soon after, he declared he would permanently ban Christmas from the Island.
Lenny-Grant, a big fan of Jesus, couldn’t believe what his brother had planned on doing. Christmas was not a commercial holiday for him, it was the birth of Christ. Lenny-Grant set up a boat and sailed for the Congress, where the vote was to be held in less than a day.
It was the first of December. The populace of Madagascar was not reactive to Harry-Grant’s legislation. It had to be Lenny-Grant’s Grand Quest, Lenny-Grant’s Odyssey.
2 hours into his journey, Lenny-Grant saw something, someone emerging from the water in the distance. It was DONALD TRUMP! Surprised, Lenny-Grant asked him what a kind man like Donald Trump was doing in Madagascar. “I come here to stop you”, Trump said. Lenny-Grant yelled back, “I have the power of Santa and Jesus on my side, bring it on!” The two men fought. Before he knew it, Lenny-Grant saw the sun set before his own eyes as Trump did wacky combos, grabbing him good and pulling off some sick moves. Lenny-Grant was losing the fight.
As he saw victory escape him, his life force decreased. He thought, maybe Jesus would come to his aid, Jesus loves to come to people’s aid, right?
Wrong.
Suddenly, a shape emerged out of the water and instantly knocked Donald Trump out of Lenny-Grant’s ship. “Skipper!” he said. “It is I, Skipper The Great, and I’ve been phoned by the Christ himself to help you in your journey. Flabbergasted, Lenny-Grant didn’t have any energy left to argue with the wizard penguin that just appeared before him. “Redemption!” the penguin screamed. Donald Trump started burning. “I have been beaten by a worthy opponent, you shall go on, keep fighting for what you believe in, Lenny-Grant”.
As Skipper smote Trump, he used a second magic spell: teleport to bounty target, a level 85 spell from the standard spellbook. Before he knew it, Lenny-Grant was slowly fading as it became darker and darker. Skipper said “One last thing, be careful. Your brother is powerful, show him everything you’ve got”.
Lenny-Grant was suddenly in the Congress. He heard a lengthy speech from the distance, his brother’s voice. He rushed in the room.
“I object!” he screamed.
His brother could not believe his eyes, he removed his suit in one swift move, revealing a full set of medieval armor as well as a sword.
Lenny-Grant couldn’t resist; he removed his clothing to reveal a ninja suit with a bow.
“okami yo waga teki o kurae!” he ulted.
Harry-Grant, his arch-nemesis, was prepared. He deflected the younger’s arrow, killing half of the men in the congress. “You will pay for this!” said the younger brother. He E’d, using all of his remaining strength to shoot an undodgeable spray of arrows at his target, who then again, double-jumped out of nowhere to easily evade the attack.
“It’s over, younger brother”, Harry-Grant claimed. “Christmas shall be abolished and my great dynasty will only become stronger and stronger. I shall rule this land like Brian of Lumbridge ruled Miscellania.
All hope was gone, his brother was too strong.
Jesus Christ himself showed up, he pulled out his AK-47 and said: “LENNY-GRANT GET THE FUCK DOWN”
He sprayed his weapon at the older brother, screaming in agony.
Jesus emptied his Kalashnikov, pulled out a set of Five-Seven and kept going. Lenny-Grant was falling unconscious. Before his eyes closed, he saw his brother’s body fall on the floor, bloody and agonizing. Jesus whispered to Lenny-Grant’s ears: “It’s all ogre now”. The darkness gained Lenny-Grant and he fell asleep, waking up in his bed, which was wet. Christmas had been saved.
Long live Lenny-Grant, long live Christmas.
Promoooooootion!
