(written while waiting to go home in med hold - will be slightly edited to include present and past tense, written also in letter format)
I've done quite a bit of thinking during my time in med hold. That's all we really have to do here. It is immensely damaging to your psyche to think so much. I've been slowly tearing at the seams here - much like a person at a psych ward.
The hearing of your passing about a month after coming to basic training broke me.
I believed I could hold myself together because of my initial reaction; which was well, no reaction. I didn't believe it, it's impossible that something like this could happen. That a friend so near and dear to me could pass away. I didn't want to believe it was true. Even now it's hard to come to terms with the fact that you're gone. Shortly after my phone time was over and I was back up in the dormitory I broke down. All of my experiences with you came rushing back, along with the crushing reminder that new memories won't be made. The fact that I will never hear that goofy French Canadian accent anymore. The fact that I won't be able to do corporeal beast with you, raid with you, or just shoot the shit about Runescape with you. It's heartbreaking. I'll miss our late night conversations where we talk about nothing. I'll miss how caring you were of others when they were going through tough times. Hell, I'll even miss your political opinions and hot takes, even if they busted my balls.
I will miss you.
Of all of the people I've met here at Steam-Gamers, you're definitely one of the most memorable. You're also one of my greatest friends to have come out of this community. This may sound corny, but you never really know the importance of a person until they're gone. I know understand that you were extremely important to me, even if it didn't seem like it before I joined the military. I love you man. I always will.
I'll never forget you.
I know this was already posted but I will post it again because it's taken on a whole new meaning to myself and already many others.